Comments on: ZOMBIE CAFÉ by Ed Wagner

By: Catwoman

Catwoman — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 01:48:02 +0000

I feel kinda bad for Suzy. After all, she just used the men who intended to use her. Also, more people steal from their jobs than you’d care to know. I was at the hair salon one day and the ladies started gleefully and shamelessly swapping stories about how they lifted cash from former or present jobs at fast food restaurants and things of that nature. I must admit, in recent years, even I have stolen cash from work, not by overcharging anyone, but maybe leaving something off that was done and pocketing the cash. I’ve also taken cleaning supplies and miscellaneous items. While I wouldn’t go so far as taking something out of someone’s purse or anything like that, when people leave something good behind like a raincoat or umbrella and don’t come back for it after a few weeks, I just might take it home! Also, I’ve taken a few prescription pills from people that I personally know if they had some pain pills or something I needed. Over the summer, my sister, my daughter and I got our nails done for a special event and I paid for all of us. It was towards the end of the day on a Sunday and we were the last customers. Even the receptionist left before we did. I know something was up because the Asian ladies were talking amongst each other before the one who worked on me came over to collect payment. I remember a distinct look of disappointment when I handed her my credit card! I wanted to say “Lady, I know the feeling, but no skimming for you tonight!” She even had the audacity to ask “You no have cash for me?” Times are hard and when you make just enough to pay the bills but not enough to qualify for Medicaid or food stamps you don’t always make the moral decision. Anyway, good story…I, for one, hope she makes it out with the lesson learned that “valuables” are not worth your life.

By: Liam

Liam — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 06:34:21 +0000

Heh, pretty funny. Just for laughs, I’d like to see this: as she fills the cups for the zombies, she hears the rattle of gunfire from outside. Daring to take a quick peek, she sees a young man in street clothes- aside from a city detective’s badge on his chest- burst out from the crowd, continuously reloading and firing a pair of submachineguns aimed roughly at the level of the average rotter’s head. After a few seconds, he seems to run out of ammunition, only to slide out a strange melee weapon, shaped like a steel oar with a sharpened paddle, and dice zombies apart with it. After a few minutes, Hel’s Cafe is an abbattoir of bloodshed, and the detective strolls up and says: “Yeah, I’d like a mocha frappucino, two cups of extra decaf, and some coffee cake t’go, please… Hey, nice watch.”

By: Justin

Justin — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 03:40:12 +0000

The survivors of Hurricane Katrina have stated that one of the most valuable currencies in an apocalypse-situation is toilet paper.

TP can be easily carried, stored in ziploc bags and traded for just about anything. After a week without hygiene, you can imagine how valuable half a roll of TP can be.

In WW2, US Marines used to roll it around a pencil before going ashore to make sure you had as much as possible – since the hole in the middle of the roll is a waste of space in a survival situation…

By: RandyB

RandyB — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:13:10 +0000

In defense of my view on the story in regards to the currency question. I think everyone has a valid point about how long legal tender would have value. Yet, from the perspective of this shallow girl who thinks all that glitters is gold, I can see where she would make the leap of faith that her trinkets have more value than money.

By: Andre

Andre — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 19:34:00 +0000

Great story. Sort of Stephen King in it’s morality. It would make a great short film.

As a side note, it would be impossible to know if money was any good for months or at least until it was known if there was indeed a working government left. Gold and jewels? Can you eat a diamond bracelet? What would pass for currency would most likely be food, guns, ammunition and survival tools.

By: Bill Bultas

Bill Bultas — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 06:05:57 +0000

A fun morality story. I greatly enjoyed it. An issue I’ve recently discussed with people (due to the recent instabilities in the economy) is whether or not cash would or would not have value in an apocalyptic or pre-holocaust setting. This story suggests that it would lose value immediately (“legal tinder”). I believe that it would be usable, at least for some time. Gold, diamonds, etc. certainly would be valuable, but initially it would be difficult to buy a $100 gun in exact dollars, for example, with gold or diamonds, and easier to buy a $100 gun with, well, $100. Anyway, my 2 cents (which per this story are worthless).

In any case, a great story.

By: Clitoris Rex

Clitoris Rex — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 16:21:31 +0000

I dug the end, but the beginning build up was a bit too long…sounds like you were just describing a girl you hate, not building a story. Don’t get me wrong though, the idea of a stuck up broad slinging coffee to corpses in Hel’s cafe for eternity is genius.

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:02:36 +0000

Man, this was one very original story. The build up left me absolutely no pity for Suzy. Hell’s own Barista. GREAT!

By: Glenn

Glenn — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:42:31 +0000

Great story. Seems to me, the lady got just what she deserved. Keep writing!