Comments on: AMONGST THE DEAD by David Bernstein

By: Chris

Chris — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 18:12:20 +0000

Great story! A little constructive criticism, though. Perhaps you could have focused a little more on the emotional wreck Bill must have gone through saying goodbye to his daughter. It felt a little rushed. A deeper more heartbreaking conversation between the two could add a lot more drama to the story. Really good though! I liked it.

By: Jake

Jake — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 06:23:54 +0000

aw… poor Riley. She probably will be wondering why hes dead.

By: Kai

Kai — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 07:47:23 +0000

that is interesting to read from the pov of a dying father. i feel sad for him and the little girl he is leaving behind. damn.

By: Doc

Doc — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 08:12:51 +0000

Outstanding, really great story.

By: Dave gorack.

Dave gorack. — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 23:53:08 +0000

Thats relly sad….
ME WHANT SEQUALL!!!

By: dave

dave — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 22:58:10 +0000

Thanks for the compliments and reading my story. I have written a part 2 and 3 and will be submitting them shortly.
Part 2 Amongst the Dead: Riley’s Story

By: Theloni

Theloni — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:31:51 +0000

Good story. Took some liberty with the eyes needing to be destroyed though.

By: Molly

Molly — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:43:57 +0000

I enjoyed the second half after the exposition.

By: J. Roy

J. Roy — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 16:21:09 +0000

Excellent! What happens to Riley?