Ramon was munching on a human leg bone, determined to get every last bit of meat, when he stopped chewing.

“What’s the matter?” Nash asked, noticing Ramon’s pause.  “Get someone stuck between your teeth?” (more…)

A bit of flesh dropped onto the bench with a thunk!

The judge eyed the defendant. “Mr. Pierce, when I said approach the bench, I meant all of you, not one piece at a time.” (more…)

Twas the Night of the Zombie Apocalypse, when nothing at all was very well,
All sorts of creatures were stirring, even by dead neighbor, Bob, right where he fell.
Random boards and furniture were hung over the doors and sash,
in hopes the Army arriving, before having to dash. (more…)

“Go on, Nash, get it over with.”  Ramon gestured toward the stream of cars rushing by in the California twilight.

The younger zombie stared at the careening traffic.  “They’re moving awfully fast.”

“Yes, and that’s good.  They won’t be able to avoid you.” (more…)

Well, the guys at TOWWZ were mildly impressed by my story of fighting off zombies in the Amazon. By mildly impressed, I mean they threatened me with a restraining order, but didn’t follow through. And by fighting off zombies in the Amazon, I mean ducking and jiving, and climbing lots of trees, and pushing fat guys into the shuffling herds of the undead.  I’d rather not talk about zombies, though. (more…)

On Saturday morning two very excited men arrived at my house so we could rock up to Daresbury in the north of England to visit Zed Events – The Manor. One was a bouncing Big Rich, 6 foot 8 of enthusiastic Zombie fan. The other our very own young Scott Berryman who, rather than being a wannabe soldier like us, is actually in the military.

Our mode of transport was a bright orange G4 Land Rover, packed by Big Rich with everything you would need to survive the apocalypse such as Shovels, axes etc. None of which would actually be required but we felt it was important to look the part.

Big Rich posing by the Orange Love Bus

(more…)

It had been a long day.  My incompetent boss yelled at me again, some butt-biscuit side swiped my car and took off and I had an epic argument with my girlfriend last night.  I had to “apologize” so she would get off my back… Whatever.  At least I knew that tonight would be better, I already made plans.

I was going to shut off the phone, mute the TV, crank up some metal and punk and watch vintage roller derby footage.  I had plenty of beer in the fridge, but I need some lime cilantro taco flavored chips.  I pulled into the Snag-n-Dash to pick some up.  The door pinged when I came in, and just as I walked past the ATM I saw a zombie in aisle 3. (more…)

The outrage was immediate and intense.
There were riots in the streets.
Lower courts had ruled that zombies
had no civil rights. They had rights when
they were alive, but those rights were lost
when they died. (more…)

The four figures sat in their large plush leather chairs watching the old, bulky television on the far side of the large room. A fire burned in the fireplace off to one side, the flames casting the only other illumination in the room. The walls were lined with pictures of famous people, all now long dead. Einstein, Mozart and Hitler to name a few. Trophies covered the entire mantle piece and filled glass cabinets, ranging from sword fighting to horse riding to `slimmer of the year`. All of them were for first place. Cigar smoke drifted slowly around the ceiling.

Each of the seated figures was as different to the others as they could be. The first figure was huge, and not due to fat but pure muscle. Every inch of him was a bulging mass of rippling muscle with think veins like worms crawling across his exposed skin. His neck was easily the size of a normal man’s waist. He wore tight red vest top and denim shorts, with a red baseball cap sat backwards on his head. A large cigar, twice the size of a mans finger, was gripped between his teeth. (more…)

A treat for the holidays – Ed.

It was Jenny Cupcake who found the body. An avalanche had exposed a transparent wall of ice; and behind the ice, an elf hung, suspended in ice, arms akimbo and skin blue. His eyes stared forward blankly, and his mouth had dropped open. He looked flash frozen.

Jenny Cupcake tapped the ice with the butt of her Uzi. “You okay in there?”

The elf made no reply; didn’t blink, didn’t move, made no sign that he had even registered Jenny’s presence.

She peered at him. His uniform was outdated but identified as a worker from Sector 7-G. A ragged stump marked the spot where his left thumb had been savagely removed from his hand, and angry looking red gashes criss-crossed his palm. He had probably been a wood worker. (more…)

Transcript from Late Night Live with Phillip Ross, Radio National

February 28, 2019

Phillip Ross: Good evening listeners and welcome to Late Night Live, I’m your host Phillip Ross. This evening I’m pleased to introduce a leading academic in the field of Zombie research: Roman Weisz, Associate Professor of Life-Challenged Ethics at Harvard’s school of Sociology

Prof. Weisz: Thank you for having me Phillip.

PR: Latest research indicates that we may be on the verge of developing a vaccine that curbs the aggressive tendencies within zombie mice. There are now calls to begin experiments on human zombies. What are your views on this? (more…)