QUARTERS by William D. Tripp
May 20, 2010 Poetry Tags: poem
We move together in mass
Like preteen girls at a concert
held at the mall, the day before
the outbreak Now that music
with no elevator, is drowned out
by the masses, whose feet
drown out the screams. We move
separately together
All looking with no eyes
for the slow
tender
fat man
who smells of summertime
barbecue, and the woman
who is filled with tomato soup
and crackers We feed and drink
as the oblivious children play
in the arcade, with light guns
that will not save them.
Awesome poem man…nice.
Comment by Ricky on May 20, 2010 @ 8:21 pm
Amazing poem. I looked over my shoulder when I finished. The mechanics could not be better. The stanza and line breaks helped me push all of the details into one lucid picture and scene,
Comment by Jarrod on May 20, 2010 @ 8:41 pm
That last line seriously gave me chills. It’s always sad to think about the children if anything like this ever happened, and trapped in an arcade room with the ‘preteen girl mob’ would be horrible for them. Very nicely written, William!
Comment by Greg on May 20, 2010 @ 9:18 pm
nice , good work
Comment by uncleb on May 21, 2010 @ 6:42 am
Filled with soup??? awesome. really enjoyed the poem
Comment by Joe on May 21, 2010 @ 8:30 am
Morbid, but good. I don’t normally like poems, but this one is an exception, well done.
Comment by Doc on May 22, 2010 @ 3:12 am
I’m no poem fan but this paint a picture with a story behind.. Thanks
Comment by Mac on May 22, 2010 @ 6:47 am
beautiful execution
Comment by gabryl on May 23, 2010 @ 4:26 pm
Really rich detailing here. The description of the fat man, the irony of children shooting in the arcade. Just really well done stuff, man.
Comment by Justin on May 24, 2010 @ 6:06 pm
Another example of great poetry. I must give it a go sometime. I got a nice rich image reading this.
Comment by Pete Bevan on May 25, 2010 @ 4:53 am
Extremely nice imagery! Like others I too wince when I see poems come up. Mainly because it seems they try too hard or it’s just very random. BUT yours could be the start of an awesome story in poem form.
Comment by liz on June 7, 2010 @ 10:44 am
Incredible poem, i really liked this one. Your wording was just perfect!
Comment by ChaosPeng on December 9, 2010 @ 8:20 am